Toughest decision I've ever made. For over a month I've grappled with the idea of donating a kidney. Researched what I could on living donors and didn't like what I learned.
The stress from the constant thinking, worrying, and wondering about if I would, what would happen if I did, how this would shape my future in terms of not just financial security, but my health... it was acute. Early in this process my days were consumed with thinking about my friend, his situation, his family, my family, my health, the medical procedures involved, the recovery, how I'd feel after, what if it wasn't successful, what if I developed high blood pressure, or kidney problems of my own...? It was an endless parade of happy thoughts (friend's healthy would hopefully be greatly improved), terrifying thoughts (my health possibly greatly diminished), and everything in between. I lost sleep over this. I had headaches, many, many headaches (which I don't typically have). My stomach was upset. I felt very tired, more than usual. It was just a very unusual sensation, being more aware of my body, and the way it's affected by thoughts - good and bad.
I'm grateful for this experience. It's been one hell of a journey, but one I wouldn't trade for anything.
3 comments:
I can't imagine all of the scenarios that have gone through your mind while considering this possibility. I am glad that you considered your well-being. There is only one of you, and you matter a great deal to those who know and love you.
Becky,
You made the right decision. You must be happy within yourself on a decision like that. It is a big step to make and not right for everyone. Each of our circumstances are different and so different criteria apply. Having said that I have just undergone evaluation to donate a kidney and if you want to chat at all or ask any question then please do contact me. But yes, YOU come first and your family and friends and you should not do anything to your body that you are not totally at peace with. You made the right decision.
I think you made the right decision. I'm organs donor, but that will be when I don't need them yet.
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