Thoughts on Road Trip

Day 1 - Road Trip to CA - Leave Knoxville at 2:00 pm EST.

Mile 79 this is boring.

Mile 137 still boring, except now I have to pee.

Mile 142 wow, this is going to be a really long trip. Crap, I have at least 3 more days of this.

Mile 159 I wonder if E's as bored as me? Hey I'm hungry.

Mile 199 wow TN has a lot of pretty trees. I like the trees and mountains. Pretty.

Mile 237 I'm hungry again.

Mile 301 I have to go to the bathroom again.

Mile 352 still bored, call Mom. We laugh about something but heck if I can remember what. I like talking to mom she's funny. I miss my mom. I hope she visits us in CA.

Mile 411 it's getting late. Wonder when we'll call it a night.

Mile 441 all done. Check in at Days Inn. Unpack, let critters loose in room, pray they don't destroy anything. Watch TV, nothing on. Continue to watch nothing on TV. E's pissed. Laptop has line on the screen from when he dropped it. I turn TV off and read Grimm's Fairy Tales to cheer myself up. Read "Goose Girl" story. Not very cheery reading. Sleep.

Sass's big wet nose wakes me several times before the sun makes an appearance. I try to ignore her she nudges the hubby. He gets up and feeds the dogs and takes them outside. He's a good man. I pet the kitties while waiting for hubby to return with the dogs. We all go back to sleep. Erik's phone rings at 8:00 am CST. E keeps his ringer on the loudest setting I've ever heard. Phone scares the bejesus out of me. Spend 20 minutes hyperventilating. VERY awake now and decide to shower. Eat "free" food in the lobby. I like Kellogg's Raisin Bran, good stuff. Return to room. E's teaching class online. I watch HGTV while packing up. We leave. So far we're both in better moods than the night before. We kiss, make up and apologize for being jerks to one another.


Day 2 - Leave Forrest City, Arkansas at 10:00 am CST.

Mile 462 notice Gentlemen's Club located next to a church. God does have a sense of humor! Who's a bigger gentleman than God? Hmm, hey what if churches and Adult Stores/Gentlemen's Clubs were to work together. Instead of trying to convince the parishioners that such places are evil churches could have these dens of debauchery in the basement. Slogans like "Our Angels are Heaven Sent" could be posted on billboards! The whole congregation could get involved. The choirs could provide live dancing music for the Angels. The little glasses used to serve the "blood of Christ" could double as shot glasses during non-church activities when the "guests" of the Angels want a drink. At Sunday school the lessons could involve washing the glasses while the story of how Jesus turned water into wine is told. The Angles could dance around poles in the shape of a cross.... wow, this could be really profitable! And the wives would be so happy that their husbands were spending soooooooooooooooooo much time at Church. The families of these churches would be so pleased that their daughters were spending their evenings at church instead of clubbing it and doing God only knows what in the back seat of some boy's car. I think this could really work.

Mile 478 worry that I'll be spending all of eternity in hell then remember that I'm an atheist. Whew that was close.

Mile 521 I'm hungry.

Mile 576 I have to pee.

Mile 599 I'm hungry and need to use the rest room again.

Mile 613 is this stupid rain ever gonna stop?

Mile 638 I can't see a damn thing, am I in a river? Are those tail lights or flotation devices in front of me?

Mile 742 rain finally stopped.

Mile 870 Oklahoma City sucks.

Mile 877 holly $#%! I have 4 flat tires? How the %$@!# did that happen? Oh wait, my tires are fine, Oklahoma has really, really crappy roads.

Mile 901 I'm hungry again. Hey look at all the pretty windmills. Oh no! That poor little fella over this is broken. All the other blades are slowly going around and around and around... but not him. Perhaps he's on strike? What's his cause? Is he just lazy? Perhaps he's one of those "original" types, gotta go against the grain, or in this case just not go at all. Silly windmill doesn't he realize how stupid he looks just standing still while all the others swing round' and round? Those windmills are mesmerizing... I could watch them all day... oh crap gotta watch the road. Nice road I see ya. Yes, yes I know the shoulder is not for driving on thanks for the friendly reminder. Oh no where did the windmills go? All gone. Boring landscape again. Better get used to it the pan handle of Texas SUCKS even more!

Mile 949 quitin' time. Woo hoo. Check into Ramada Inn in Clinton, Oklahoma. Let critters loose in room. Pray they don't destroy anything while we eat dinner at "Fat Cats" which is on the grounds of the hotel, very convenient. Think about going swimming in pool after dinner. Eat kid's grilled cheese sandwich and fried black olives with asiago cheese. Freakin' good little fried fellas. Restaurant cold, don't want to swim, just want to go outside where it's hot. Return to room. All critters and furniture accounted for and in same condition as when we left the room. I watch TV, E plays on computer. We're happy. No cross words exchanged today. Blog. Sleep.